Sadiya Alilire's Response Statement |
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November 8, 2005 Overview My name is Sadiya Alilire. I was formerly known as Sadia Ali-Loeliger. I am a very grateful woman, because I currently have my three children living with me and my husband in our home. My children are all great, happy, helpful and well-behaved kids. They are all healthy, and the two who are in school are both straight-A students. I am especially grateful that my oldest daughter Fatima, who is 16-years old, is safely living in my home. Throughout each of her 16 years, Fatima has been the primary victim of a vicious and unrelenting custody fight carried on against me by her father, Scott Loeliger. Despite that, Fatima is an exceptional child with a bright future (click here to read Practicing Medicine recent newspaper article about Fatima). During the 16 years of custody fighting, Scott has accused me of unimaginable things. Every move he makes is calculated and planned, and always designed to better position him in his court arguments and emotionally, financially, and psychologically batter me and my loved ones or anyone who attempts to aid me. No aspect of mine or Fatima's life is left untouched and unchallenged by Mr. Loeliger's vicious custody fight. If Fatima gives him a birthday or holiday card or present, he saves it as a court exhibit to "prove" how much she loves him. If she doesn't give him a card or present, it becomes "proof" of how I have destroyed their relationship and how she doesn't "LOVE" him. I currently have sole legal and physical custody of Fatima, and Mr. Loeliger is allowed to see her only in a supervised visitation setting. Those restrictions were placed upon Mr. Loeliger because of the hostility, harassment, and constant arguing that he has instigated in his relationship with Fatima, and because of his repeated attempts to harass, lobby and involve anyone in Fatima's life into the custody fight (teachers, school officials, soccer coaches, neighbors, and friends). Throughout the 16 years of custody fighting, it became a regular pattern of Scott's to falsely accuse me of "abuse". He has repeatedly taken Fatima to Child Protective Services agencies in every county where she has lived, repeating the same allegations over and over again. Curiously, in the midst of all of his abuse allegations, on two separate occasions Scott has voluntarily given me custody of Fatima when it has been convenient for him1. When it is no longer convenient for him, he then turns around and drags me back into court, again reiterating his abuse allegations and insisting that he be given sole custody and that I be removed completely from Fatima's life. Scott is a highly skilled and unbelievably determined litigator. His latest salvo, undertaken through the website of Glenn Sacks, is merely a repeat of the countless and unrelenting allegations he has raised against me during each of Fatima's 16 years. I have never abused Fatima or any of my children, or any other child. Scott knows this in his heart, but he never stops trying to label me as an "abuser". He uses the term "abuse" because he knows it is an alarming term that will get attention. He has admitted that he uses this because he knows it is inflammatory and alarming. He does this in an attempt to deflect attention from his own actions, where he has effectively destroyed the relationship between he and Fatima due to his obsession with fighting over custody and his attempts to punish me for divorcing him. There have never been any criminal allegations or findings of abuse against me. Scott routinely exaggerates the custody case history and series of events and circumstances. He continues to take me to court on a monthly and sometimes weekly basis. Detailed below are my specific refutations of the claims that Scott and Glenn Sacks are now making against me, as retaliation for Fatima's and my participation in the PBS documentary "Breaking the Silence: Children's Stories." Fatima and I are counting the days till her 18th birthday, which appears to be the only event that will cause her father to relinquish his unrelenting campaign against me. In the meantime, I continue to enjoy my children and my family and friends, and pray that they maintain good health and fortune. I also pray that the Yolo County Family Courts continue to focus on Fatima's best interest, and I am confident they will. I wish my ex-husband, Scott Loeliger, well, despite all that has happened. I also hope that someday he is able to find peace in his heart and that he is able to once again enjoy a healthy relationship with our wonderful daughter Fatima. History I am writing this statement in response to the most recent publicity campaign instigated against me and my daughter by my ex-husband Scott Loeliger. For 16 years, Mr. Loeliger has engaged in an incredibly hostile and vicious campaign against me, usually carried forth through the California family court system. His unrelenting campaign has always been designed to punish me for divorcing him. During this time, he has accused me of unimaginable things, including being abusive to our daughter. He has never gotten over the divorce, and he has told me "I have made you, and I will unmake you." Scott has always been a very manipulative and passive aggressive person, and he is very effective at pushing buttons to make people angry, and then turning around and immediately presenting himself as being "reasonable and misunderstood" (click here to read Quinn Report, Psychological Evaluation Report of Dr. Quinn). During our marriage, he often bragged about how well those skills served him in getting him what he wants. Our 16-year old daughter has been the primary victim of her father's campaign, as she has never been allowed to have a normal life. She has recently begun to speak out about this, as she is angered that her father continues to harass us and that he never stops dragging me and her to court (this is a child he didn't even want when I first became pregnant). Fatima and I have a beautiful and loving relationship, and her father cannot accept that. He appears incapable of understanding that Fatima can love both parents at the same time. He becomes easily threatened if she shows affection or a desire to be with me, and then becomes hostile toward her and immediately challenges her about their relationship. Fatima is a strong, intelligent, beautiful young woman, who needs to be left alone to live her remaining adolescent and adult life. She is an honors student with a 4.2 grade point average, and is excited about finishing high school and preparing for college life. Her sole wish right now is to have the custody fighting stop. In fact, that has been one of her primary wishes for a long time now. My relationship with Scott was doomed from the beginning, because it rested on a foundation of lies he told to me. We met in my home country Somalia, dated, and formed a relationship. I was 18 years old at the time, and Scott was 28. After forsaking my parent's wishes and marrying Scott, a man outside of my religion, race and culture. This marriage divided my family, as my mother strongly disapproved. My father gave his permission only after Scott promised him he would take care of me, and after he converted to Islam. I took a tremendous risk in marrying Scott, which except for having Fatima was a huge mistake. Shortly after relocating to the U.S., I found out that Scott was already married to a woman in this country. He had never told me about this; instead I found out when I learned that he had brought me to the U.S. on a student VISA, rather than as his wife (he filled out the paperwork at INS). Scott never apologized for being a liar and a polygamist, but I was foolish enough to stay with him when he promised to divorce his previous wife and to remarry me in this country. At the time, Scott told me that his then ex-wife was "crazy", "abusive", "dangerous", "volatile" and "violent", and that I should stay away from her. Little did I know at the time that he would soon be using the exact same language against me. His then ex-wife was also from Africa, as Scott loves to prey on people who place naïve trust in him. We had a tumultuous marriage after that, in which Scott continually argued and started fights, and he was very verbally and emotionally abusive. Our marriage ended shortly after our daughter was born. The Custody Fight In the 16 years since our marriage ended, Scott has never stopped taking me to court over custody matters. By my estimate, he has taken me to court over 150 times, forcing me to incur legal fees in excess of $300,000. This has never stopped, as there is a yet another court hearing scheduled. The animosity he exhibits and allegations he raises are just as nasty and fabricated today as they were 16 years ago. Scott has taken Fatima to Child Protective Services (CPS) in each of the four counties where she has lived prior to coming to live with me permanently three years ago. He has raised all sorts of abuse allegations against me, all of which are completely false, and refuted by Fatima's own testimony. His allegations were also refuted by numerous family friends, school officials, investigators and others who had insight into our family life. Nevertheless, Scott has constantly badgered Fatima to try and get her to go along with his allegations. He did this to her even when she was a very young child, when he would "question" her about me and tape record her answers (sometimes when she was naked in the bathtub). Every professional involved in this case, and there have been many, has told Scott that the unrelenting custody fight is the single worst thing for our daughter (click here to read Helen Clark Letter, Fatima's long-time therapist). Fatima herself has begged him to stop fighting and to let her have a normal childhood where she could be involved with both parents. He has never taken that advice and continues to instigate nonstop litigation. Just in the last year, he has taken me to court over 12 times. While I have always insisted that Fatima maintain a relationship with her father, and believe it important for her to be involved with both parents, Scott has at every turn attempted to have me excluded from Fatima's life. She has developed a deep resentment of him because of this, and because of other things he has done to her. The "Abuse" Allegations Scott's many and obsessive abuse allegations were always dismissed as groundless by the CPS agencies in numerous counties. I completely deny ever physically abusing Fatima or my two other children, or any other child. There have been no criminal allegations or findings against me. Scott and I both had findings of emotional abuse entered against us, due to the acrimony of the custody fight and the effect it was having on Fatima. Contrary to Mr. Sacks's assertion, there have never been any findings whatsoever that I abused my other children. Those statements are complete fabrications. In 1997 and 1998, I was a single mom working over 50 hours a week as a Rehabilitation Director for Locomotion Therapy. I was a highly respected member of the Porterville Community, and was nominated by the mayor to join the Porterville Leadership Program and was a member of the Porterville Soroptimists. I was making more money than Scott at the time. While this was going on, Scott was dragging me into court every week. Each time he would pick up Fatima for a visit, he would then call 911 and make false reports to the police claiming that my other children were "in danger" and "being abused". The police and CPS were constantly showing up at my house due to Scott's manipulative and malicious behavior, and it got the point where it became a joke between me and the Porterville police. Of course, it distressed my children greatly, but Scott refused to stop his behavior. In fact, it became a regular routine to have the police present every time Fatima was exchanged, because Scott insisted that they be present each time as a way to harass and embarrass me. In 1997 and 1998, my niece was living with us and attending high school. My niece was a difficult teenager, and she regularly skipped school without my knowledge. When the school would call or write about her absence, she would answer the phone and pretend to be me, or take the letters written by the school and discard them before I saw them in the mail. I eventually found out about my niece's behavior, and was planning to send her back to live with her father in Africa. When she found out my plans, my niece then started to make false allegations about me claiming that I had pulled a necklace on her. She pretended to write a letter to her father complaining about me. That letter is posted on Mr. Sack's website. My niece never intended to send that letter to her father, and in fact she left it in the house where I would see it as she was trying to coerce me into not sending her back to Africa. It was one of many attention-seeking behaviors engaged in by my niece. While my niece later admitted what she had done and retracted her allegations against me, Mr. Loeliger came to possess a copy of the letter she had written. He was given this letter by an ex-babysitter of mine who I had fired because she was stealing expensive family heirloom jewelry from my home. I initiated and won a small claims action against her for that theft (click here to read Judgment). It is this babysitter, Doris Nava Arellano, who then later wrote a letter and declaration full of lies, claiming that I was abusive toward Fatima and my niece. It was later discovered that Scott had driven my fired, ex-babysitter 8 hours each way to his home in Red Bluff, where she had spent the weekend with him writing the letter making those false claims, and the declaration posted on Mr. Sack's website. The letter and declaration were purposely and clearly patterned to repeat and significantly embellish the earlier false claims that my niece had made, which she had since admitted were lies. I also learned that Scott had paid my fired, ex-babysitter for helping him. Before any court proceedings occurred where I could challenge her claims, the babysitter disappeared and I was never able to find her (she had also lied to me about her immigration status, and I was told she returned to Mexico). She never appeared in court and never formally testified, yet Mr. Sacks and Mr. Loeliger falsely represent that she did. I was never given an opportunity to challenge or cross examine Ms. Arellano. After he obtained these false claims from my fired ex-babysitter, Scott then violated existing court orders and took Fatima to a personal therapist friend of his in Tehama County, Randi Gottlieb-Robinson. The two of them are close friends. Ms. Gottlieb-Robinson subsequently became the Director of CPS in Tehama County. It is her "report" that is listed on the Glenn Sacks website, claiming that Fatima substantiated her father's allegations against me. She wrote that report without ever contacting or talking with me, even though I was the custodial parent. At the time, Mr. Loeliger worked with Ms. Gottlieb-Robinson's husband (now ex-husband). Scott and Ms. Gottlieb Robinson have both admitted in sworn testimony that they have attended numerous social and friendship functions together, including sharing family backyard barbecues and sharing cabins together while on vacation (click here to read Gottlieb-Robinson Testimony, and here to read Gottlieb Complaint filed against her). I have also received unsubstantiated reports that the two of them had an extramarital affair. She is the unnamed "Shasta County" therapist cited on Mr. Sacks's website. She continues to be the head of CPS in Tehama County, and in fact in that role awarded Scott another child through adoption. That child was taken from a young, single black mother by Ms. Gottlieb-Robinson's agency under her direction, and then awarded to Scott and his current 60-year old wife (Christina Loeliger who is 10 years older than Scott) through adoption by Judge King in Tehama County (the same judge later sitting on my family court case in that county). Armed with his "new evidence", Scott again returned to CPS, and to court, this time in Tehama County, reiterating his claims against me, even though all of the incidents he cited were false and had already been dismissed by Tulare County CPS and the Tulare County Court. Investigations were opened again and the case went back and forth in both Tehama and Tulare Counties for many months. During that time, my niece was fighting for me, accurately denying that there had been any abuse of any sort in our home, either to her or to Fatima. Our daughter Fatima also denied all of the allegations. Still, the investigation continued due to Scott's insistence and harassment. I regained custody of Fatima twice during this period. Nevertheless, after a huge trial, where 30 people from my community tried to testify on my behalf and were denied, Fatima was ultimately taken away from me and given to Scott. I was crushed. I was denied any communication with Fatima for over 3 years, based on the court's findings. What were the court's "abuse" findings? The court found that I "threw a shoe at Fatima" and that I "spanked her with a plastic coat hanger". There were no findings about my other child, contrary to the misrepresentation posted on Mr. Sacks's website. In fact, my other daughter who was 2 years old at the time, remained in my home throughout the "investigation" and throughout the time Fatima was taken away from me. The court made its findings despite the fact that both Fatima and I denied, and continue to deny that it actually happened. It did not happen, but Fatima and I have nevertheless moved on. Scott has not, and it is clear that he never will. The Last Four Years Beginning in 2001, I was reunified with Fatima and we immediately reconnected with the strong mother/daughter bond we have always had. After a short time, Fatima began to express her desire to live with me instead of her father. Scott could not handle that, and began to attack both me and Fatima. Predictably, we ended up in court again when Scott refused to allow me to even have visitation with Fatima. In court proceedings, Fatima told Judge King that she did not want to live with her father, that he is emotionally and verbally abusive toward her (telling her she is "worthless", "evil", "vile", and numerous other unimaginable names). She also told the judge that Scott had physically struck his current wife, and that her adopted brother was repeatedly physically and verbally abused by both Scott and his wife Christina Loeliger. This testimony was further substantiated by one of Fatima's teachers (click here to read Testimony By Fatima's Teacher), who testified that Fatima had confided in him what was happening in her father's home, and he was so disturbed by it that he filed a report with the Tehama County CPS. As court events unfolded, Fatima ran away from school and told the police that she could no longer live with her father. She pleaded to be allowed to live with me. As a result, Scott placed her "voluntarily" into foster care, under the control of Tehama County CPS, where Ms. Gottlieb-Robinson was and continues to be the Director. Fatima spent the next 6 months in foster care, and was forced to attend 3 different schools during her 8th grade year. During the same month that he placed Fatima in foster care, Scott accepted a new job in Martinez, CA, and made plans to relocate to a new community 200 miles away. Despite her clear testimony and preference to live with me, Tehama County CPS and Judge King did nothing for Fatima. In fact, she was scolded and harassed by Tehama County CPS workers Michael Coffron and Jennifer Mitchell, and told directly to lie to me about visits she was having with her father. (click here to read CPS Complaint Letter to Tehama County CPS). Even Judge King scolded Fatima rather than helping her, stating that he "would not allow a child to extort an order out of his court." In the end, Scott was allowed to retain custody of Fatima and I was granted regular visitation. Scott proceeded to move to Martinez. Fatima refused to live with Scott, and stated she would rather stay in foster care than live with her father. She stayed in foster care for another 4 months after Judge King's order. At that time, Scott finally gave in when Fatima told him she would only agree to leave foster care and live with him, if she could then be allowed to live with me beginning the following August when school began. Scott agreed, and Fatima went to live with him in Martinez from April to June, 2002. She then split the summer spending half of the time with each of us, and moved to my home permanently in August, 2002. At that time, she began attending Junior High School in Davis. Fatima has been living with me ever since. Scott effectively granted me primary physical custody of Fatima at that point2. For the first several months after Fatima first moved here, everything worked fine and she visited Scott every other weekend. However, Scott then started to harass her during each weekend visit, constantly challenging her about their relationship, and why she was not "closer" to him. He also began to harass officials at Fatima's school, and others such as her soccer coaches, family friends, etc (click here to read Letter by Fatima's Soccer Coach). He began talking to anyone who would listen about "the custody case". Fatima was very upset by this, as she had been hoping for a fresh start in Davis after having spent 6 months in foster care the previous school year. In subsequent months, Fatima reported that visits with her father became increasingly uncomfortable, because he was constantly coming into her room demanding that they "talk", and claiming that she was not being respectful enough to him and his wife, and again challenging her about why she has a better relationship with me than with him. Fatima is a strong-minded young woman, so she and her father often ended up in confrontation and argument. Fatima's weekend visits with her father proceeded this way, until the President's Day weekend in February, 2003. On February 13, Fatima went for her regular weekend visit with Scott. When we dropped her at the train station, we noticed that someone appeared to be taking photographs of us, but didn't get too alarmed. When Fatima got to her dad's house, he was there alone and his wife and adopted son were gone for the weekend. The next morning (Saturday, Feb 14th), Fatima got up and there were two people she didn't know in the house who introduced themselves as being from the Rachel Foundation. They indicated they wanted to talk to her. Scott apparently told her a little bit about why they were there. Fatima declined to speak with them and retreated to her bedroom for most of the day. They kept coming by knocking on her door and trying to draw her out but she declined. They left around 6 pm and then came back early the next morning. The same scenario repeated the next day (Sunday, Feb. 15, 2004). Again Fatima politely declined to talk to the Rachel Foundation people. In the late afternoon, Fatima began to pack her bags in normal preparation of returning to Davis on the train. At that point, Scott came into her room and told her that she was "never going back" to her mother's home, because she treated him "shitty" and the whole thing was "shitty" and that the "experiment" of living with her mom was over. He refused to let her leave and pushed her with the door when she told him to get out of her room. Fatima became very upset, and apparently broke a plate in her room, kicked the bedroom door and refused to come out of the room. At that point Scott called the Martinez police and reported Fatima as endangering herself. When the police came, Scott encouraged them to take her to the psyche ward. The police asked Fatima if she was going to hurt herself, and she said "yes". They then handcuffed her and took her to the psyche ward at the Contra Costa Regional Medical Center (the same hospital where Scott works). Scott and the Rachel Foundation people were already there when Fatima arrived with the police. Scott pleaded with the medical personnel to admit Fatima to the psyche ward and at one point called her "psychotic." The staff person on duty called me to let me know what was going on. He told me there was nothing wrong with Fatima and said there was no way she belonged there. He refused to admit Fatima but said his hands were tied to do anything else because Scott still had legal custody. When Scott couldn't get Fatima committed to the psyche ward, he then tried Contra Costa County CPS, who declined. He then took Fatima to the Northern California Family Center, which is basically a placement center for runaway and homeless children in Martinez. While there, Scott tried to persuade Fatima to again go into foster care. He indicated he already had a court hearing scheduled for Wednesday (Feb 18th) where "everything would be resolved". As it turns out, Scott's intended resolution was to have Fatima removed from her school, and shipped off to the State of Maryland to the Rachel Foundation headquarters for "psychological deprogramming" and "emergency therapy." Fatima refused to go along with Scott's demand that she again go into foster care. Instead, later that day she stated she wanted to return to his home. Scott refused and pleaded with her to go into foster care instead. Fatima left the Family Center and walked several miles in the nighttime rain to her father's house, while he followed her in his car. When she got to his house, Scott refused to let Fatima inside, stating that she was a "danger" to him and his wife and adopted son (Fatima has never in any way threatened to harm anyone). The police were called again and ultimately forced Scott to let our daughter in out of the rain and into his house for the night. The next day Fatima ran away from her father's house, took the train to Davis, and hid with friends. I had no idea where she was or if she was safe. I got the Yolo County District Attorney's Office Child Abduction Unit involved, to help me find Fatima and to make sure she was safe. Investigator Rick Gore got involved and began an investigation. He interviewed both me and Scott, concluding that Scott "appeared more interested in winning (the custody fight with me) rather than what was best for his child." The next day Fatima came to my home, and Mr. Gore came and interviewed her. He and the Yolo County DA's office elected to let Fatima remain in my home until ongoing court proceedings were resolved. (click here to read Gore Initial Report and Gore Supplemental Report on his investigation). In the court hearing held in Tehama County, I prevailed and Fatima was allowed to remain living with me and to not be removed from her school. Scott was given every other weekend visitation with her. Jurisdiction was also transferred to Yolo County, where Fatima and I live. In the weeks that followed, Fatima reluctantly went to visit her father several times. She agreed to this despite the fact that she was incredibly angry with him over his attempt to have her committed to a psyche ward and to again have her placed in foster care. Predictably, the weekend visits did not go well, as Scott continued to challenge Fatima when she went to visit him. Each time she went to visit, Scott ended up calling the Martinez police seeking to have them intervene in arguments and discussions between the two of them. The last time Fatima was in her father's home, in March, 2004, he called the police because she had taken a house key so she could let herself back in after she went for a walk. He insisted that the police force Fatima to hand over the key, but they refused to intervene. Scott has no qualms about involving the police, CPS, the courts, or anyone else in his relationship with his own daughter. This curious parental behavior is a primary source of most of the problems that continue to exist in his relationship with Fatima. Under existing court orders issued in Yolo County during 2004, I have been awarded sole physical and legal custody of Fatima. Scott has been given a right only to see school and medical records, but no additional custodial rights. Given the acrimony in his relationship with Fatima, Scott is allowed to see her only in a supervised visitation setting where a court-ordered therapist is present. Scott continues to take me to court once or twice each month, but luckily the Yolo County Court is focused squarely on Fatima's best interest, and she has been allowed to stay with me where she is thriving in both her academic and social life. Footnotes: 1. The first time occurred in 1995, when Scott elected to relocate to Hawaii. He made that decision following some professional turmoil in his life, where a young woman and child he was attempting to deliver as a general practitioner, both tragically died. The second time occurred in 2003 when he agreed to let Fatima come live with me. In each case, he has accused me of abuse before, after and in between the times that he voluntarily gave up custody. Does that mean he is a negligent father? Someone willing to place Fatima with me when it is convenient for him? Or does it mean his "abuse" allegations are simply fabrications designed to quench his litigation thirst? 2. This was the second time that Scott voluntarily gave me custody of Fatima. He also gave me custody of Fatima in 1995, when he decided to relocate to Hawaii. He made that decision following some professional turmoil in his life, where a young woman and child he was attempting to deliver as a general practitioner, both tragically died. It has always struck me as ironic that Scott has voluntarily given me custody two times, given his never-ending claims that I am an "abuser". Does that mean he is a negligent father? Someone willing to place Fatima with me when it is convenient for him? |