Alex's Story

February, 2005
    My name is Alex, I am 13 years old. I have been abused most of my life by my dad. My mom and him never got married, but all I remember is my mom being in court all the time and being sad from the cost of everything. When I turned 8 a GAL was appointed to me, this guy was a jokester. He talked to me one time in over 2 years. He made decisions for me that made me sick to my stomach. I had to visit with my dad and the abuse continued. It affected my whole life, school, friends, home life. I was sad all the time. I couldn't tell my mom about it because she would call my dad to find out what was going on and then I would get it worse the next time I went over there. So I quit telling my mom anything. It was terrible what I went through. I remember when 911 hit and I told my mom that my dad was worse than Osama Bin Laden, she asked me what I meant by that. I told her atleast he kills his victims, my dad just tortures me. She could not protect me, the judge wouldn't let her. My dad kept her in court for 13 years. Everyday she is afraid to open the mailbox thinking he will take her to court again. Some of the things I remember of being over there is the drinking, that is when he would be mean. He would come into my bedroom and hit me on top of the head with his open hand. I finally figured out why he did that, it wouldn't leave any marks. He would say awful things to me about my mom, call her a bitch and worse. He would do this everytime I had to visit. He would make me go into my room and stay there, there was times that he didn't let me eat or get something to drink. I would be there for 8 hours. He started to get worse so I would take my mom's tape recorder to the visits with me and record them sometimes. I was always afraid he would find it, but nobody believed me when I would tell them what he was doing to me. I remember one time calling 911 because he was hitting me in the head and I was scared. The police came and made me go out on the porch while they talked to him, he denied it as usual. The police told me that if I made one more 911 call I would go to prison, then they told him to take the damned telephone away from me. It was court ordered that I was allowed a cell phone as a safety net. I remember waiting until he went to sleep one night and running away, I ran to the hospital. The police would not do anything, they made my mom take me back to his house the next day. Boy did I get it then. My head hurt, my stomach hurt all the time, I had rubbed my fingers raw from being scared. No one would believe me. I was court ordered to 6 different therapists in a 2 year period. Everytime I got comfortable with one, I had to leave and go to another one. Try being normal when everyone is telling you you're crazy. They put me on pills. It was terrible. One therapist that stuck with me for 2 years and told the judge what he was doing to me gave up after the judge ruled that there was no abuse. My dad was accusing my mother of alienating me, of planting ideas in my head. I have had a hard time getting close to anyone fearing that they will leave me, not like me, not believe me. I gve up. I wanted to harm myself so I didn't have to see him again. DCFS had indicated 4 reports of abuse against him, yet the judge still made me go with him. They came to my school to talk to me, pulled me out of class. It was so embarrassing. My friend whose mother was the 6th grade teacher told my Uncle who is the PE teacher that she would never have me over her house again for fear of having DCFS called. I think she thinks my mom called, but it was really my doctor. My friend now will not have anything to do with me and is mean to me. Always hitting me, saying things to me, and getting me into trouble at school. I try to stay away from him, but it is hard. The other boys don't have much to do with me because of him and his mom. I am sad most of the time. Everytime I turn around I am gettting demerits at school for the same thing other kids do and get nothing, I have a total of 108 demerits in a 12 week period. The catholic school I go to is threatening to expell me for all these demerits. I don't want to leave this school, I like it there. What did I do to make everyone hate me? When I try to tell what happened they call me a liar, that is what my dad always said to me. I wonder sometimes if they talk to him?

I have not seen my dad since May of 2004 and not visited with him since October 2003. That was when my mom came 5 minutes early to pick me up and my dad's sister was on top of me pulling my hair and my dad was yanking on me. I had a cast on my leg from having a tumor removed from a bone in my foot and was on crutches. I was walking in the yard wating for my mom to come when they knocked me down. The neighbor lady called the cops and when the cops came my dad told them that my mom set him up and that I kicked him. I think I did, trying to get them off of me. The cops told me I was going to a juvenile home for domestic battery. I was 11 years old. I was scared to death. After that the judge still ordered me to visit, but I got smart. My mom would take me each week and each week I would refuse to get out of the car. I figured I would rather go to a dention home then go in his house and get abused and not be able to defend myself. In may of 2004 he quit calling for visits. But the July before that in 2003, while he had supervised visitation, he filed for custody of me. October of 2004 was the custody hearing, at the day of the hearing, he dropped the custody petition. I have not seen nor heard from him since. I hate him for the way he treated me. He use to go shopping and would not buy me anything, if I asked, he said to ask my mom that was what his support was for. He would eat and not buy me anything, would make me share a coke with him. It was awful what this man that called him my dad did to me. I would be willing to speak in public on my experience. My mom's friend Eileen King told my mom that I should come on here and put my story on it.

--- Alex,
written at age 13

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